I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
