And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
