I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
