I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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