the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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