she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
