Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
