Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
