your parents love me but you hate me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
