He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
