dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
