We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
