Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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