Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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