you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
