I wish I could teleport
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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