would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
