Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
