the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
