the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were trust falling into bushes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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