I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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