3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
