gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize