yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
