Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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