Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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