whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
