That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
