proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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