i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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