She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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