brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
