I wish I only lived at night.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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