you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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