Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
