I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
