cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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