no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's blow job season.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
