my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
