So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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