He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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