We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
