so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize