i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
