just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
