Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
