Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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