Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
