She's JV to your varsity
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize