apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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