Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
