You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
