I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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