I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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