It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
