Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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