I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize