singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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