four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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