Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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